APRIL - JUNE COMPETITION:
YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A LUXURY CAR!
Anyone for Punishment is offering readers the opportunity to enter a prize draw with the chance to drive away a magnificent luxury car such as this Bentley Continental GT V8 (Glacier White), courtesy of Dubai Duty Free.
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| Send us your Food & Drink Puns! |
We’re calling for deliciously excruciating puns on the subject of Food and/or Drink. You can submit one-liners, compound puns, ‘shaggy dog’ puns, or any variety you like. We’ll publish the top 50 but only one can take the top prize.
Send your entries either by going to our Send Us Your Pun! page or via e-mail to ed@anyoneforpunishment.com, with the heading ‘Food & Drink Pun Contest’.
Entries close 30 June 2015. The editors' decision is final.
To see the previous Bob Dylan competition entries, click here:
the winner's name will be announced very shortly.
the winner's name will be announced very shortly.
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Announcing the Pun of the Year (POTY) competition!
Anyone for Puns is delighted to announce the first-ever Pun of the Year (POTY) Competition & Awards.
“POTY will be an annual showcase for the world’s wittiest and worst puns,” said Norma Spudget, Puncrafter-in-Chief at Anyone For Punishment and Director of the newly-created World Order of Puncrafting Artistes (WOPA).
“Judging will take place in the town of Augural, Idaho, former gardening capital of the USA, making it a truly inaugural event,” Ms Spudget continued. “POTY will raise the global profile of the ancient and often excruciating art of puncrafting. It is open to all, regardless of race, religion, gender and age, underlining the universality of the world of puncrafting.”
Added Him Kee Wee, Chief Puncrafter at AFP, “Competition is certain to be fierce for these prestigious awards. Already we know that many of the world’s leading punning artistes are in secret POTY training to avoid any unfortunate mishaps during the event.”
The POTY Awards will be made across several categories* and will be revealed in October during a ‘virtual’ Awards ceremony on AnyoneForPunishment.com
Entries can be made direct to Anyone For Punishment via e-mail ed@anyoneforpunishment.com or via the Send Us Your Pun page, and all puns submitted to Anyone For Punishment during the year will be considered for inclusion at the Awards.
* The Categories are:
- Best Shaggy Dog Pun - With no restriction on length, such puns build a mini-story of several sentences (or in some cases paragraphs or pages) into a devastatingly quirky sign-off – a punch line of course;
- Best Short Pun - 'short' being not more a dozen words (we were initially going to say ten words to be modern and decimal, but we couldn't see the point);
- Best Tweeted Pun - the 140 character limit offers a little more latitude (or rather longitude in this case) than the 'Short' Pun above. How much pun power can you pack into it?
- Most Excruciating Pun - the most groan-inducingly, toe-curlingly, stomach-churningly awful pun of them all;
- Best Double Entendre or Innuendo Pun - no naughty words allowed here, the pun must be in the mind of the reader. Study a master of the genre in Humphrey Lyttleton;
- Best Pun on a Specialist Subject - be it Pharaohs of the 2nd Dynasty (yes, puns about Mummies are admitted!) or lesser known details of the breeding habits of the hippopotamus, any highly specialised topic is fair game. Should you be a particle physicist who specialises in the Grand Unified Theory, you could, perhaps, submit something truly GUT-wrenching;
- Best 'Daffynition' Pun - new meanings for old words, with innuendo (that's an Italian suppository) permitted, although not encouraged;
- Most Obtuse Pun - sometimes it's good to have to work at it! When the meaning hits you in the middle of carving the turkey, or during your annual appraisal with the boss.
and of course, our Star Award
- Pun of the Year - whose author will bear the coveted title of Puncrafter of the Year for a period of twelve months.
