Anyone For Punishment is serious about Puns. We therefore aim to rank them on a scale of 0-100, in the manner of Robert Parker's (in)famous wine rankings , as published in the Wine Advocate.
Of course, no scale can ever be totally objective. We agree with Robert Parker when he states that "I really think probably the only difference between a 96-, 97-, 98-, 99-, and 100-point wine is really the emotion of the moment." We therefore make no apologies for the punnotations we give.
However we do publish the thinking behind our classification. And the Editors' decision is final.
| These criteria * form the 'Punnotation' given below | ||
| i | OPEC (Originality of Pun's Entire Content) ¹ | 15 |
| ii | SICK (Simple, Incisive, Clean, Keepable) ² | 20 |
| iii | DODDLE (Degree Of Difficulty - Don't Laugh Easily) | 20 |
| iv | GOLF (Groaning Out Loud Factor) | 20 |
| v | PRAT (Pun Rating of All Time) ³ | 25 |
¹ - Have we heard this one before, or something very similar? (10 pts)
- Is this familiar subject matter, or something new? (5 pts)
² We love a good shaggy dog, but short, sharp Puns should be encouraged at all times (5 pts each)
³ A sort of 1 to 10 scale but, given the myriad subtleties of great Puns, considerably more precise
Note: Where two puns have the same punnotation, the pun with the higher 'PRAT' score (v) will be awarded the higher place. If this score is identical, the 'GOLF' score (iv) will decide. If these are also the same, the criteria at iii and ii will successively be taken into consideration. If there is still a tie after this, the puns will be awarded equal ranking.
The All-Time Pun100 INDEX (as at 31/12/2015)
|
|||
| RANK | TITLE | CRITERIA * | PUNNOTATION |
1
|
New Tube |
15+19+18+19+23
|
94
|
2
|
Sole food |
15+15+20+19+24
|
93
|
3
|
Not all beer and skittles |
15+19+18+18+23
|
93
|
4
|
Left in stitches... |
15+19+19+18+22
|
93
|
5
|
CCTV |
15+19+18+18+22
|
92
|
6
|
Turning the page |
15+19+18+19+21
|
92
|
7
|
A nose for business |
15+18+17+19+22
|
91
|
8
|
Familiar ring to it |
15+18+18+18+22
|
91
|
9
|
Late for the meating |
15+19+18+19+20
|
91
|
10
|
Here's Yuan for the money |
15+20+18+20+18
|
91
|
11
|
Leicester we forget |
15+18+17+18+22
|
90
|
12
|
In the cauldron boil and break |
15+16+20+17+22
|
90
|
13=
|
Water on the knee |
15+18+18+18+21
|
90
|
13=
|
Rigamortis |
15+18+18+18+21
|
90
|
15
|
Glass ceiling |
15+19+17+18+21
|
90
|
16
|
Musical coffers |
15+18+18+19+20
|
90
|
17
|
Sore point |
15+16+19+18+21
|
89
|
18
|
Lowering the atmosphere |
15+19+16+18+21
|
89
|
19=
|
Hearty appetite |
15+18+18+18+20
|
89
|
19=
|
Ukraine? New cranes! |
15+18+18+18+20
|
89
|
21=
|
Health diet |
15+19+17+18+20
|
89
|
21=
|
Neuter the neighbourhood |
15+19+17+18+20
|
89
|
21=
|
Penne stock company |
15+19+17+18+20
|
89
|
24
|
Doctor I'm feeling verse and verse |
15+18+19+18+19
|
89
|
25
|
Regular appointment |
12+19+16+20+21
|
88
|
26
|
Not a leg to stand on |
15+15+19+18+21
|
88
|
27
|
Feline fib |
15+16+18+18+21
|
88
|
28
|
Sank like a stone |
15+18+17+17+21
|
88
|
29
|
Norse load |
15+17+18+19+20
|
88
|
30=
|
Hip fashion items |
15+17+18+18+20
|
88
|
30=
|
Gross - really, really gross |
15+17+18+18+20
|
88
|
30=
|
A Saltire and flattery |
15+17+18+18+20
|
88
|
33
|
Talking the walk |
15+18+17+18+20
|
88
|
34=
|
Flush with funds |
15+19+17+18+19
|
88
|
34=
|
Causing a terrible hoopla |
15+19+17+18+19
|
88
|
36
|
The bare facts |
15+12+19+19+22
|
87
|
37
|
Entertaining Dinner |
15+15+17+19+21
|
87
|
38=
|
Camelot too far for this |
15+15+18+18+21
|
87
|
38=
|
Cold comfort |
15+15+18+18+21
|
87
|
40
|
Looking for an opening |
15+16+16+20+20
|
87
|
41
|
Unsavoury opinions |
14+17+18+18+20
|
87
|
42=
|
Pig-headed |
15+16+18+18+20
|
87
|
42=
|
All-consuming passion |
15+16+18+18+20
|
87
|
44=
|
When in Rome |
15+17+17+18+20
|
87
|
44=
|
Bank on it! |
15+17+17+18+20
|
87
|
46=
|
Hunny trap |
15+18+16+18+20
|
87
|
46=
|
Flue blues |
15+18+16+18+20
|
87
|
48
|
If the cap fits… |
15+17+18+17+20
|
87
|
49
|
Nordic cross boarder incident |
15+18+17+17+20
|
87
|
50
|
On the ball |
15+18+18+17+19
|
87
|
51
|
Grape expectations |
15+18+18+18+18
|
87
|
52
|
Foot and mouth dis-ease |
15+14+19+18+20
|
86
|
53
|
Mandy Tory answer |
15+16+17+18+20
|
86
|
54
|
Carrie on searching |
15+16+18+17+20
|
86
|
55
|
Lecture us interruptus |
15+17+17+17+20
|
86
|
56
|
Supporting evidence |
15+16+18+18+19
|
86
|
57=
|
Holmes, sweet Holmes |
15+17+17+18+19
|
86
|
57=
|
Breeches of confidence |
15+17+17+18+19
|
86
|
57=
|
Meaty parts |
15+17+17+18+19
|
86
|
57=
|
To cut a long story… |
15+17+17+18+19
|
86
|
61
|
Green ayes |
15+18+16+18+19
|
86
|
62
|
Hardy attitudes |
15+17+18+17+19
|
86
|
63=
|
Stiff locks |
15+18+17+17+19
|
86
|
63=
|
Reptile housing |
15+18+17+17+19
|
86
|
65
|
Oars play |
15+19+16+17+19
|
86
|
66
|
Daily jaws |
15+16+17+20+18
|
86
|
67
|
Sauce of discontent |
10+15+20+19+21
|
85
|
68
|
Decline and fall |
11+19+17+18+20
|
85
|
69
|
That's mo 2 |
15+18+14+18+20
|
85
|
70
|
Badly taut |
15+15+18+17+20
|
85
|
71
|
Funny bone |
12+19+17+18+19
|
85
|
72
|
Triplikim |
14+17+17+18+19
|
85
|
73=
|
TGIF - or not? |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
73=
|
Green field project |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
73=
|
Rite answer |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
73=
|
Clothe call |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
73=
|
Highly strung |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
78=
|
In a different glass… |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
78=
|
Cardigan error |
15+16+17+18+19
|
85
|
80=
|
Santa Cause? |
15+17+16+18+19
|
85
|
80=
|
Early finish |
15+17+16+18+19
|
85
|
82=
|
Tacky humour |
15+17+17+17+19
|
85
|
82=
|
Fishy business |
15+17+17+17+19
|
85
|
82=
|
Tight budget |
15+17+17+17+19
|
85
|
85=
|
Alan Hansen, punned it |
15+18+16+17+19
|
85
|
85=
|
Thin volume |
15+18+16+17+19
|
85
|
85=
|
Shelling out |
15+18+16+17+19
|
85
|
85=
|
Hostile atmosphere |
15+18+16+17+19
|
85
|
89
|
Montecristo's flying circles |
15+18+17+16+19
|
85
|
90
|
Mark of eggsellence |
15+16+18+18+18
|
85
|
91=
|
Adult Eros |
15+17+17+18+18
|
85
|
91=
|
No kidding |
15+17+17+18+18
|
85
|
93
|
Barrel of fun |
14+19+16+18+18
|
85
|
94
|
Dutch courage |
15+17+18+17+18
|
85
|
95
|
Two way conversation |
14+19+17+17+18
|
85
|
96
|
Trunk call |
15+18+17+17+18
|
85
|
97
|
State of the union |
8+19+16+19+22
|
84
|
98
|
Family Beef |
15+10+19+18+22
|
84
|
99
|
Little and large |
7+19+18+19+21
|
84
|
100
|
Paws for thought |
10+19+17+18+20
|
84
|
MONTHLY TOP 20 PUNS
|
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2014
|
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| December | |||||
2015
|
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| January | February | March | April | May | June |
| July | August | September | October | November | December |
2016
|
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| January | February | March | April | May | June |
| July | August | September | October | November | December |
